Your fuckin perfect
by Thatredheadgeek
Summary: song fic! a little OC but its good! Tamaki has been holding in so much pain for so long, when it all explodes in his face, its up to kyouya to fix the blond prince


There were some secrets that the rest of the club didn't know. Not even Kyouya and Tamaki wanted to keep it that way. Its 3 am and here he was up and wide awake. The limo to take him to school will be here in only a few hours.

"_I need to stop this." _

he thought bitterly, knowing it wont stop. knowing he wont get any sleep...again. he cuddled his teddy bear close and cried into it as he has every night since...well since his grandmother first moved him to japan. Her insults,mocking and verbal abuse goes on more then the club thinks. Sometimes, when shes really upset with him, she'll psychically abuse him, those were the worst. Those bruises were so hard to hide and why? Because he existed, at least that's what his grandmother claims.

Made a wrong turn, once or twice  
>Dug my way out, blood and fire<br>Bad decisions, that's alright  
>Welcome to my silly life<p>

He isnt the happy prince the club knows him for. At least not when he is home. Large tears soaked into the fabric of the stuffed bear, lithe shoulders trembled from the burden placed upon them. He cant remember the last time he felt good about himself. He cant remember when he ate. He eats at the club and school, to keep up appearances and to not cause any suspicion He shivers at the thought of someone finding out. He was so tired all the time, all he wanted was to be happy again. Thou the club helps,its not what he needs.

He winces slightly, the rougher fabric of his bear touching his sensitive scars from last night. He couldn't help it. He had to. The pain just became too much to bear and it just built up so much. Sometimes he thinks forming the club was a mistake. He had to wear a mask every day for it but he wanted a family so bad. He never had one, well he had one but not the one he wanted. First off, he was born unwanted so first ting out of the womb nobody wanted him with the exception of his mother but since he moved to japan, he hasn't seen or heard from her since. Only his grandmother and most likely father know wither she is alive or dead and neither have the decency to tell him and inform him of the only family that cares about him, even the slightest. He even doubts wither the "family" he put together even cares and not just going along for it. The thoughts just makes him cry even more.

School...

Kyouya was suspicious of Tamaki. He didn't seem himself. His smiles didn't go to his eyes, his movements, not as animated. To the rest of the club he was perfectly fine but to him..he knew something was wrong. He hated not seeing that smile. He hated not seeing those eyes light up. That frown didn't belong on the princes face. Only a smile should graces his beautiful features.

Yes...Kyouya has been well aware that since he met the excitable blond that he had a crush but as the years went on that crush turned to love and he almost hated himself for it. Tamai liked Haruhi. Not him. Not _"mommy." _he hated seeing him flirt and caress the other girls and clients. He wanted to be the one to caresses his face. Look in those violet eyes and tell him he loves him. That he has always loved

him and always will. He wanted to kiss whatever tears he had, away. "kyouya? You ok?" sudden brought out of his thoughts by the very thing evading his thoughts. The blonde looked curiously at his best friend,slightly worried. Kyouya smiled his same, businessmen smile. "yes, im fine tamaki. Why do you ask?" Tamaki looks a little worried. "oh you were just kinda zoning out, you don't usually do that so I was worried." Kyouya smiles. Inwardly sorta giddy. Anytime hes around the blondes presence he feels happier. "I can assure you, im just fine." Tamaki smiled but Kyouya could tell...it was fake. He had to talk to him. He knew this wasn't the normal emotional situations with Tamaki. Its something far worse to make the blonde this withdrawn.

Home...

tamkai held the school final in his hand. …..."D." there written in bold red, as if its yelling and mocking him. Rubbing it in that he failed. The paper shook as he stood outside his grandmothers office. If she didn't see the paper and lied about it he knew the punishment wold be a lot worse but now...a "D"...he was terrified of what she was going to do. The tears were already welling in his eyes. Many people wold be surprised of how strong she is and how healthy.

You'd think for someone in there 80's you'd be frail and sick. "Tamaki, come in." she said from inside her office. He jumped at the sound of her authoritative voice. And slowly opened the door. He walked to her desk and stood in front, feeling more like a child about to be scolded then a nearly full grown adult who failed a test. She looked up from her paper work with a stern look, as if shes expecting failure. "is there a reason you were standing outside my door like an idiot?" he swallowed hard, trying his hardest to keep the tears away. "yes, you wanted to see the finals." she holds out her hand, expecting him to place it there. He places it there apprehensively then backs away. Trying to hide or at least turn invisible or maybe an earthquake. Just anything that will take h ima way from here.

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood  
>Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down<br>Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated  
>Look, I'm still around <p>

She looked it over, her eyes widen in shock and anger. "A "D"! how the hell did you get a "D"?  
>he speaks up quietly, not expecting the yelling so soon. "i don't know, I studded everything..." "well you didn't study hard enough!" "she crumbles it up and trows it at him. "since you were born you have been nothing but a disgrace to the suoh family! We were a respectable family before your father had an affair with that french scum you call a mother! And then you came and sullied our good name! You cant even pass a simple test! Its probably that damn club of yours, its causing you to lose focus-" "no, its not!" Tamaki clamped a hand over his mouth. What had he done? He dare back talk to her? He was really in for it now. How hard will it be to hide the bruises this time? Her face scrunched up in an anger and charged at him. She slapped his face with so much force he fell to the ground then for good measure,, kicked him in his ribs. His still bruised and healing ribs. He chocked down a sob and wondered how long the beating would last an if he would have the energy to go up the large staircase.<p>

Kyouyas limo pulled in front of the Souh residence. After he knocked on the door, thebutler told him Tamaki was in his room. He knocked on tamakis door, his heart pounding. Not only did he want to find out what was wrong but if he could he was going to confess. Even if he gets rejected, it give him the peace of mind he needs instead of wondering what could have been.

Strange, Tamaki answers the door within the first knock, excited and jumping on him. For a hug. Its been well over a minute. Something was seriously wrong. A feeling of dread took over Kyouyas body as he hesitantly opened the door. The room itself surprised him. It was only about 7 in the evening and the room was pitch black. The thick curtains drawn. The only light is emitting from the bathroom. 'Tamaki?" he calls, worried. More then worried, scared. What has become of his beautiful, bright blond? He walked toward the bathroom.

The light almost telling him, showing him the way. In a slight panic and being so close to the bathroom, he ran to it and he paled. First horror and shock went thru him. There lays his tamaki, in nothing but his white boxers and blood everywhere. Kyouya ran to him. "Tamaki!" he cradled him in his arms, not caring wither the blood from his stained his cloths. He took closer inspection to the self inflected cuts and found some formed words. On one forearm. "Perfect" and the other 'Failure". On side of his thigh, "Unwated" and the other thigh..."worthless." did he really think such horrible things? Its so hard to imagine his once bright blond felt so bad. And he was thin, unantrualy thin. Had he not been eating? God what happened to him? Kyouya held his tears back as he got his phone out, dialing 911.

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel  
>Like you're less than fuckin' perfect<br>Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing  
>You're fuckin' perfect to me! <p>

Tamaki opened his eyes then quickly closed them. It was so bright and white. Where was he. He tried to lift his arm but found it was kept down by wires, he suddenly felt panic. Where was he? What were they doing? He attempted to try to take the Ivs out, not realizing where he is. Kyouya was just walking past to from the cafeteria. He quickly rushed in and held the blond down and stopped him from taking his life giving fluid out. "tamaki! Stop, your in a hospital!" tamaki quickly stopped, recognizing Kyouyas voice. He hesitantly looked up in his best friends dark, coal eyes. His eyes quickly filled with tears. "kyouya?"

You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong  
>Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead<br>So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!  
>Filled with so much hatred... such a tired game<br>It's enough! I've done all I can think of  
>Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same<p>

Kyouya put a comforting hand to the back of tamakis head, feeling the soft yellow hair. "what happened?" Kyouya asked softly. It was breaking his heart seeing Tamaki like this. This is not tamaki. The blonde looked up to Kyouya, almost pleadingly. Asking for im to take away his burdens. kyouya started to hug him gently but the blonde collapsed in his arms in tears. Completely breaking down, unable to hold his pain in. tamakis Lilith shoulders trembled and shook. Kyouya, surprised, hug his blond tightly. He spoke soft an l owly to tamaki. "its ok, im here. Im not leaving." Kyouya was answered with a loud sob and his shirt being soaked by salty tears. He doesn't care. He'd take anything for the trembling blonde in his arms.

Oh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel  
>Like you're less than fuckin' perfect<br>Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing

You're fuckin' perfect to me

"ok, now talk...what happened? This is not the tamaki I know." tamaki looked down. Feeling like a child being accused of breaking the window or whatever else children get in trouble for. His voice was tired from the crying and emotional breakdown. "I...Im sorry. " his eyes began to tear up but not feeling the need to breakdown. "its been like this for so long." "when did you start...cutting yourself?" The words felt like poison on the ebony haired males mouth. tamaki looked up, a tear falling down his face. He wipes it away swiftly. Tired of crying. "since I moved to japan. I just hid it well."

Kyouyas heart was breaking for his blond. Since he moved here? How had he not seen it? He felt his eyes water but kept them away and kept his voice steady. He needed to be strong for Tamaki. "why?" Tamakis face paled to a natural white. "alot of reasons." he mumbled. Kyouya snapped slightly at him. "what reasons?" "Im worthless! Ok?" tamaki yelled t his best friend. Tears streaming down his face. He continues to yell and rant. Telling every detail of his life. "everyday since I was born, nobody wanted me! My father doesn't care, my mother could be dead for all I know and my grandmother...God!" he can barely bring himself to say whats been going on. Kyouys holds him tightly,in shock that he has felt like this for so long. He has felt like that as well sometimes but even the shadow king would never be abel to hold it in as much as tmakai has.

he whole world's scared so I swallow the fear  
>The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer<br>So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time  
>Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere<br>They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair  
>Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time<br>Why do we do that? Why do I do that?

"what has your grandmother done?" kyouya asks softly. Those violet eyes widen, so scared to tell but he works thru the fear. Its been a secret for far too long. "so much." he proceeds to wiggle out of kyouyas grasp and hike up his hospital gown. Not caring about kyouys seeing the scars. Kyouyas gasps as he sees tamakis stomach and chest. Black and blue. That's all it is. Kyouya gently reaches out to touch the sensitive, tender skin. "she did this?" the blond nods gently, tears still falling, silently down his face. Kyouya cant take looking at the bruises and scars anymore. It was so surreal, like a horror movie. He gently held tamaki tightly. Protectively. This time the tears fell from those coal eyes. "Im so sorry, I should have figured this out a long time ago. " Tamaki laughs bitterly for a second. "like I said,i hid it well." Kyouya leans back and holds the blonds head in his hands. Looking him straight in the eyes. "you shouldn't have had to hide it. You had me, you had the club to go to. Why didn't you?"

Why do I do that... ?

Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty baby... !

"I didnt want you to worry but I guess I failed at that." tamakis lip trembles, his eyes fill once again. "i seem to fail at everything. I should have died and save everyone the bother." "don't you dare say that! We all care about you!" "how do I know?" Kyouya softly kisses tamakis forehead. "I love you." tamaki shuts his eyes tightly. "don't say that." "why?" "because I know you don't mean it the way I want you to." Kyouya knows what tamakis is talking about. Inwardly he is smiling, relived to know the blond feels the same but how to get tamaki to believe him. "I love you tamaki. More then friends. I always have." Tamaki look up with wide eyes. Just a little bit of glitter making there way to his eyes. "really? Why? Why would anyone love someone like me?" Kyouys smiled softly. What an easy question for once in this horrible situation.

"because your you. Your caring, you would help a complete stranger on the street while others would walk past. You talented, the way you play the piano, its like an angel playing. Your fun, I know it seems I don't want to go along with the activities you have come up with but I will admit they are fun and its nice to act like kids again." kyouya gently wipes the tears away from his, now boyfriends face and gently cups his cheek. "you are perfect to me." surprising Kyouya, tamaki closes the gap between them in a crushing kiss, quickly deepening. Kyouya smiled into the kiss. He prayed for things to turn around for tamakis mental health and as for his grandmother, his police force will have a talk with her.

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel  
>Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect<br>Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel  
>Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me<br>You're perfect, you're perfect!  
>Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing<br>You're fuckin' perfect to me...


End file.
